How to Enjoy Valentine’s Day When You’re Single

pexels-photo-776636Frankly speaking, Valentine’s Day is just an excuse for me to raise this topic. And believe me, I have all the rights to speak about this because I’m single and I know how to enjoy not just Valentine’s Day but every day of my life.

Today I saw a post on Facebook which reminded me how many people connect their happiness in life with having romantic love. I agree with you, it’s absolutely crucial to love and be loved. However, do I have to remind you there are four types of love?

In the Greek language there’re actually four different words which mean ‘love’: agape, storge, fileo and eros. And only the last one is used to describe romantic love. So, why are there so many people who feel empty, unhappy and depressed only because they’re single? They lack eros, but there are so many opportunities to show other types of love to those around them.

Somebody wise said: “If you want to be loved, love.” Then somebody else said: “If you want to have friends, be friendly.” And finally we come to a conclusion: If you want to be happy, be. Leo Tolstoy said this last one, if I remember right.

So, it’s all in your hands. And here’re a few ideas how to enjoy Valentine’s Day and every day of your life even if/while you’re single.

It’s temporary

Remember that this period of your life is temporary and you need to make the best of it. Use this opportunity to travel, study, grow personally and professionally, read as much as possible, meet with friends more often. This awesome time won’t last forever! Use every moment of it. If you have kids, spend more time with them because as soon as you meet somebody, there will be much less time for that.

It’s Freedom!

Appreciate the advantages that this time gives you. You don’t have to consult with anybody and you can make all your decisions by yourself. Nobody will nag you or criticise you or say – I told you so if the decision turns out to be the bad one. You’re free to do whatever you want whenever you want. Just use your freedom wisely!

Give love

We, human beings, are selfish in our nature, and our first desire is of course to be loved, feel appreciated and cared for. However, if you try to focus on giving love, your heart will be filled up to the top and love will pour out of it to those who need it the most.

It is such an amazing feeling to have your heart filled with love so much that it almost seems like it will explode.

Open up for love

Unfortunately, a lot of people tend to build high walls around their heart after they go through one or more painful experiences in their life. This is a natural way of defending your emotional health, but it leads to more pain, regrets and disappointment. It kills all future opportunities and leaves you sad and bitter.

Open up for new relationships, new love and new incredible encounters. Life is unpredictable, exciting and full of adventure. Hellen Keller said: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

So, make the most of your life. Don’t waste any moment of it being frustrated or depressed. There’s so much more to our life than romantic love. Friendship can actually be a much bigger gift to you. Just learn to appreciate everything you have! And stop whining! 🙂

I love you guys and will appreciate your thoughts on this topic! Please, comment below, like and share if this post was of any interest or help to you.

 

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Your Freedom Is In Danger!

Do you consider yourself a free person? Ok, let me ask you a different question then. Have you ever thought about bonds and chains that might hold you back? What prevents you from moving forward and growing? What keeps you from reaching your goals? What limits your freedom?

ElephantsYou know, a few days ago I read a story about elephants who were standing in a row waiting on their trainer. These huge animals were held only by a small rope tied to their front leg. A passing-by man was astonished by this fact and asked for an explanation. The trainer told him that those elephants had been held by the same rope since they were little. It had been enough for them then. As they grew up, they were conditioned to believe they couldn’t break away. So, they never even tried.

Sometimes, we have the same ropes. They are tiny. They are weak and almost invisible, but we allow them to hold us and we never even try to break free.

The first thing we need to do is to admit there are such ropes. Self-awareness is always the key. Let’s look at a few examples, and maybe you will find your own chains and ropes.

  • Fears
  • Doubts
  • Grudges
  • Busyness
  • Idols
  • Addictions
  • Pride
  • Arrogance
  • Frustrations
  • Anger
  • Worry
  • Anxiety
  • Greed

These are only a few possible chains. There might be many more. So, what are we going to do with them?

Being aware of such bonds is the first step. Next, you should try to take notice every time this feeling, emotion or a thought appears and tries to take charge. Giving it place and letting it control your actions and your life is the clear way to lose freedom.

After you notice the emotion and prevent it from controlling you several times in a row, it will lose power over you. It’s like forming a good habit or getting rid of a bad habit. The first step – take notice. The next step – take action by confronting it. The third step – repeat and remember to condition yourself for future behavior.

Of course, there’s more to be said on the topic of forming good habits, but I will just refer you to an awesome Neuroplasticity course on Udemy by Gregory Caremans. He explains it in very much detail and with a lot of exercises.

So, what chains are you trying to break these days? Share in the comments below. I would love to hear from you!

Do You Have a Mentor?

I love discovering new interesting people who I can learn from. We all know how important it is to have a mentor if we want to grow personally constantly. As for me, I don’t have a real mentor even though all my friends teach me something. It’s a great honor and pleasure to learn from them since each one of my closest friends is an incredibly intelligent person.

I am proud to say that all my friends constantly feed my brain with ideas and help me grow although they are not really my mentors, they are my friends.

There are several people who I can call virtual mentors. Jeff Walker and Marie Forleo have been such people for me in the last few years. Their experience and wisdom helped me understand a lot about business. Their weekly and sometimes daily videos gave me a chance to learn from them on a regular basis.

Recently I’ve discovered several new people who started inspiring me even more: Michael Hyatt, Rory Vaden, Simon Sinek. All these successful entrepreneurs and fascinating personalities  have a message to convey and an experience to share. Why not use the opportunity that our online world gives us?

Who are your mentors? Is it somebody you know personally or virtually? Can you advice an interesting public figure who helped you grow personally and professionally?

 

Overcome Fear

What is fear, really? “An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.” It’s just an emotion, sometimes strong, sometimes not. Why are we so affected by it? Why do we let it rule our lives and tell us what to do and what not to do?

Fear can be very useful when we need to flee from danger. However, more often it paralyses us when what we really need is to act.

I have recently watched a movie called “Arrival”. It’s about the power of communication and the value of human contact and unity. What struck me the most is the behavior of a woman-scientist.  She was extremely scared, it was obvious, but it didn’t stop her from stepping forward and going into the unknown. As a result of her conquered fear she was able to save humanity from destruction.

In our life and business we face much simpler tasks and dangers. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that our fears have no power to cause destruction. The scale is smaller, of course, but the importance and the aftermath for each of us is huge sometimes.

Are you scared of a new job or a new position? Are you afraid to make that step and finally start a business? Are you horrified that she might say “no” if you ask her out? Overcome your fear and make that next step. Ask for a raise. Change the job. Start a company. Propose. Go on a journey. Take a course. Invest. Live. You’re worth it!

Judge or Not Judge?

HW8_7804Why is it so hard not to judge people? Why do we have such an obsessive need to express our opinions even if nobody cares and nobody wants to hear them?

About a decade ago I used to think that being opinionated is cool. One of my closest friends called me opinionated, and I was almost proud of that. But times change, and it sounds almost like an insult now.

There are three facts that I want to say about judging others.

  1. We can’t help it.

Is it in our nature? I want to say – no, but unfortunately, I can’t. We were not created with this need to judge everybody. However, we were created with the free will to whether say what we think or keep silent. And our twisted human nature just can’t let us be silent. Our twisted mind can’t help it. Whether out loud or in our head, we start judging and spraying poison onto our relationships.

2. We even love it.

Recently, an old classic best-seller caught my attention, and I decided to finally read it. I am sure you’ve heard about it – it’s Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. He wrote this book in 1930s, and the lessons from it are still relevant. He talks a lot about the human nature and emphasizes that we’re all selfish. Each person spends 95% of the day thinking about him- or herself. Most of us love the sound of our own name and prefer talking about ourselves rather than listening to others.

So, to sum up, we love ourselves more than anything. We care about our needs, desires and opinions more than about anybody in the whole world. And sometimes it all turns into judgement of others. And then this judgement turns into gossiping. And we start savoring it, enjoying it, like it’s the most delectable dish we’ve ever eaten in our life.

3. We should stop it.

How can we stop it? Is it even possible? Maybe it’s hard to stop doing it completely, but we should at least try. And then try again. And after the next failure we will not give up, but try once more. And it will work. With God’s help, we can fight it and defeat it!

I know, we can’t do it alone, but we can help each other. If you hear me being judgmental, say it directly to my face. Especially when I judge those who judge, because that’s my problem. I judge judgmental people and can’t help it. It poisons my mood and darkens my days. Help me fight it and join this battle together with me!

Happy Women’s Day!

It’s an International Women’s Day today. Did you know? The world is celebrating all women, not just mothers, and it’s a great thing. No offense to you, guys. Men are very important, but we’ve known that already, right? The majority of cultures in the world are patriarchal, so men established their influence and importance long time ago. Although, women started defending their rights only in the past few decades.

I wish all women to believe in their great potential, wonderful gifts and talents, abilities and strengths. I wish us all to unleash our creativity, use our potential and do our best to change this world for better. Steve Jobs said that only those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. I believe we can, ladies! Let’s do it!

I wish all men to appreciate their women, see their wonderfulness, and regularly tell them about it. Let her blossom! If your woman flourishes, your life will change, and your success will soar! I dare you to try.

7 Best Winter Activities

“Winter is coming!” – this is the phrase they have been saying in Games of Thrones for 5 seasons and finally “Winter is here!” Well, it’s been here for more than a month already, but I got to write this post only now.

Winter is one of my favorite seasons. Other favorites are spring and summer, but winter is probably the most fun. Christmas and New Year is in winter, my birthday is in winter, and skiing is in winter!

So, let’s start the list:

  1. The very first and most fun activity for me is downhill skiing. Do you like freedom and elegance? Put on a pair of skis and prepare to fly! The excitement of speed and the elegance of flight is what attracts me in this sport.
  2. Some of you will argue with me and say that snowboarding is better. I would just say, it’s also fun but it’s different. Tastes differ, so if you prefer snowboarding, go for it!
  3. In the previous post I talked about running in cold weather. Believe me, it’s much more fun than you might think. It’s challenging and refreshing, and the feeling after the run is incomparable!
  4. Do you like ice-skating? I love it! This is another activity that is beautiful and elegant. It’s like dancing on ice, what can be more graceful?
  5. If you have hills in your town, go sledging with your child or with your friends. I don’t think there’s any age limit for that even though it’s considered for children. We’re all kids in our own way.
  6. Are you fond of fishing? If yes, then it’s the best time for you to go ice-fishing. This is one thing I could never understand, but I know a lot of people love it.
  7. And if you are not that much into outdoors, you can just curl up on a couch with a great book and a cup of hot chocolate. Isn’t that one of the best things about winter? Another variation of this would be a good movie with friends or even by yourself.

The most important aspect of all these activities is that you enjoy them. If it’s not fun, it’s not worth it. Life is full of amazing wonderful moments, and we should cherish each one of them.